Chef_Troy

Things to do in Dallas when you have insomnia

tcreole@hotmail.com — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 17:05:00 GMT

Those of you who live in the Dallas area, guess what? I've signed up to be an extra in a movie called "In the Land of Fireworks" that's shooting here all through November. (No pay, unfortunately -- I'm doing it for the experience. Actors gotta start somewhere.)

The days I'm signed up for are:

Thursday, Nov. 5, 2 p.m. - 7 p.m. at the Garden Café

Tuesday, Nov. 9, 2 a.m. - 9 a.m. at the Lakewood Bar & Grill

Wednesday, Nov.18th, 2 a.m. - 10 a.m. at Lakewood's 1st and 10

There are several other shoots throughout the month, some overnight and some during the day -- those are just the three I signed up for.

They really need more extras -- go to www.inthelandoffireworks.com to sign up if you're interested and don't mind working for food. And hey - if you sign up for the same shoots as me, maybe we'll run into each other!

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:18:52 GMT

AGAIN with the rain? REALLY? For fuck's sake, just because I can't afford to move to Seattle doesn't mean I want Seattle to move HERE.

"One Different Letter" results for October 21

tcreole@hotmail.com — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:25:14 GMT

First we have anthropomorphize, submitted by teal_cuttlefish.
The new word is: arthropomorphize v. To ascribe qualities associated with crustaceans and/or insects to someone or something, e.g. calling your unpleasant elderly neighbor an "old crab."

Next we have trinity, submitted by crotalus_atrox.
The new word is: trainity n. Amtrak's Holy of Holies, i.e. The Engineer, The Conductor and The Club-Car Bartender.

Next we have parametize, submitted by the_gneech.
The new word is: prametize v. To convert something into a baby buggy.

Next we have parasite, submitted by peterchayward.
The new word is: Parisite n. A resident of Paris (either the one in Texas or the one in France).

And finally, we have blabber, submitted by ludzu_alus.
The new word is: slabber n. The person at a funeral home who is responsible for placing the dead body on the slab.

And now, the voting! (remember: you can choose multiple words if you wish.)

View Poll: "One Different Letter" voting ballot for 10/21

You may now post your suggestions for the next exciting round of One Different Letter!
(To check to see if a word has already been submitted, check the Master List of ODL Paleologisms.)

(You should also feel free to post comments on today's words.)

Remember, if you're enjoying ODL, feel free to mention it on your own LJs and link over.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:55:39 GMT

First we have journal, submitted by peterchayward.
The new word is: joinal n. a book of membership eligibility requirements.

Next we have feculent, submitted by hillbillie.
The new word is: freculent adj. Covered in foul-smelling little brown spots.

Next we have phrase, submitted by ludzu_alus.
The new word is: phraser n. A teaching tool used in the teaching facilities of Federation starships; it fires a pulsed beam of excited plasmsa encoded with proper syntax, implanting language arts lessons directly into the student's brain.

Next we have hegemony, submitted by badcat42077.
The new word is: hedgemony n. The tendency of close-set ornamental bushes to dominate all other nearby landscaping features.

Next we have redolent, submitted by blanx73.
The new word is: predolent adj. Having a smell reminiscent of something that hasn't happened yet.

Next we have unctuous, submitted by inkbrush76.
inkbrush76 wins the No-Prize for hardest word of the day!
The new word is: nunctuous adj. characterized by extreme freshness.

And finally, we have frankincense, submitted by norda.
The new word is: franklincense n. An aromatic substance that, when burned, smells like hundred-dollar bills.

And now, the voting! (remember: you can choose multiple words if you wish.)

View Poll: "One Different Letter" voting ballot for 10/20

tcreole@hotmail.com — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:24:00 GMT

Okay, there's a smattering of interest, and I need to shake the rust off my brain, so it's that time again!

You may now post your suggestions for the next exciting round of One Different Letter!

For those of you who don't know or have forgotten what "One Different Letter" is, it works like this: you guys suggest a word (aka the "paleologism"); I take that word and either add, delete, or change one letter; I then post the new word (or "neologism") and its definition. Whoever submits the word that gives me the most trouble in a given round wins a No-Prize! For each round, you guys have the opportunity to vote for the words you like best -- and then you submit more words and the merry-go-round turns anew.

Lay those words on me! (To check to see if a word has already been submitted, check the Master List of ODL Paleologisms.)

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:29:16 GMT

Circumstances caused me to look up my old One Different Letter entries, the most recent of which was from January of this year. I enjoyed reading them over.

Soooo...

Would anyone be interested in starting it up again?

Yoinked from illian -- Gay Education

tcreole@hotmail.com — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:07:47 GMT

Meme answer: crotalus_atrox

tcreole@hotmail.com — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:56:01 GMT

(This is an answer to this meme, in which I ask for feedback on a story I haven't written. Feel free to follow the link and take part.)

crotalus_atrox wrote:
I thought your snarky little sendup of the biotech rep business, "Genetic Promoter," was absolutely brilliant. It was kind of like reading a version of Thank You For Smoking that I actually liked. If I had to pick one of my favorite things about it, though, it'd easily be the characters. You did such a great job giving everyone such warmth and soul in what otherwise might've been just a cynical satire sort of thing - I loved everyone's character arcs, but that's always been a strength of yours.

First line: I never really questioned my career path until I saw the eight-winged chicken in the Splice Of Life R&D lab and heard that mad scientist Carruthers musing that they should have given it some extra legs, too, so it wouldn't keep falling over.

Last line: "See that you don't, or I'm gone," she whispered, taking my earlobe between her teeth.

Why did I write it?: I've heard that the key to writing compelling antagonists is to remember that nobody thinks of himself as an evil person; I decided to set myself the challenge of creating a character who does, and revels in it, and is nonetheless three-dimensional and believable. I think we can all agree that Rosalind Gosling, the CEO of Gengineering Inc., fits the bill.

Summary: Francis D. Watson is the greatest lobbyist in the history of the biotech industry -- nobody else could have convinced a senator from Texas to sponsor a Congressional bill subsidizing lab-grown, cowless beef. It was inevitable that Gengineering Inc. would come calling for help with their latest public-relations crisis, but is Francis really ready to quit renting out his soul and sell it outright?

The Hardest Part About Writing It: Making sure that the biotech information didn't rely on too much handwavium -- I wanted it to retain at least a surface plausibility. Fortunately, I have a nephew who's in the industry, and he pointed out the obvious howlers.

Random Thing: Francis originally had a pet winged monkey that a grateful client whipped up for him in the lab, but several beta readers objected on the grounds that there were too many negative associations from The Wizard of Oz.

Meme answer: ludzu_alus

tcreole@hotmail.com — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:06:26 GMT

(This is an answer to this meme, in which I ask for feedback on a story I haven't written. Feel free to follow the link and take part.)

ludzu_alus wrote:
Hello! I just wanted to let you know how much I liked your last story, "Encountering Strangers." I especially liked your main character, Leigh. She was smart and sarcastic and confident. And her being able to read minds - but only of people she's never actually seen - was unique. I had a question about that, actually. It was unclear if her ability stops if she sees any part of the person (arm, hip, hair...) or if she has to actually, like, look in their eyes or something equally deep and meaningful. Because I could see it being not terribly practical to walk down a busy street if just the observation of everyone on that street renders her ability moot. Anyway. You wrote a smart and entertaining story and I'd like to see more someday - maybe even a longer treatment. Keep up the awesomeness!

First line: The first time it happened to me, it felt like my brain was in a sleeping bag someone else was climbing into.

Last line: "Now you know everything about me," he lied.

Why did I write it?: I have a lot of plot ideas laying around that were intended for my webcomic, "Scandal Sheet!", and I really didn't want this one to never see the light of day. (I'm still planning to start the comic up again, but this plotline worked better as a story anyway.)

Summary: From the Lost Files of the Weekly Comet: Leigh Kingsolver has hidden a secret about herself all her life -- a secret that she has turned to financial advantage more than once. Now, with disaster looming and lives on the line, can she use her wild talent to set things right -- without destroying the one man she could tell the truth to?

The Hardest Part About Writing It: Addressing the practical problems with Leigh's power without resorting to handwaving presented some interesting challenges.

Random Thing: Leigh has a Russian Blue cat, but it's not in the story because it wouldn't come out from under the bed.

yoinked from crotalus_atrox

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:10:13 GMT

Write feedback for a story I haven't written. Make up a title and tell me what you liked most about it. I'll tell you the first line, the last line, why I wrote it, the summary, the hardest part about writing it, or whatever pops into my head.

Go for it. :D

tcreole@hotmail.com — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:24:39 GMT

Those of you who are fans of the new show "Glee," and who in particular were blown away by the glee club's version of "Don't Stop Believin'," you should check out this version by Sam Tsui. Take a close look at his backup singers -- it took me a sec.

Yoinked from theferrett

tcreole@hotmail.com — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:55:03 GMT

The point of this meme is to compose and type a journal entry completely blind. Keep your eyes closed, or lo9ok in some other dirdtion until you're completely finished. You're also not allowed to correct qnything once you've seen it live, although if you sensee you've made a mistake while your eyes are still closed you can correct it (also with your eyes closed). And yes, I did type this with my eyes closed.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 03:52:29 GMT

So... how can I learn more about Search Engine Optimization, and establish/build my skill at doing it?

tcreole@hotmail.com — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:57:38 GMT

So.

About a year ago, the family and I took a cruise. I spent a lot of time in the on-board casino (winning, no less), and took home several hundred dollars in winnings. Some of it I used at another casino on a couple of occasions, but I've had $200 riding around in my wallet for a LONG time, trying to find something I wanted to spend it on. (I made half-hearted noises about putting it into the bank when I lost my job, but I got shut down by Mrs. Chef and didn't fight very hard.)

My son has been playing Guitar Hero over at his best friend's house and making none-too-subtle remarks to the effect of "gee, wouldn't it be GREAT if WE had Guitar Hero?" Then, the best friend's older brother moved out and took all the GH games with him.

At Mrs. Chef's suggestion, I decided to look into getting GH: World Tour for our Wii; The local emporium de tarzhay had the game with two guitars for $99, so -- officially for me, but really mostly for him -- I bought it with half of my remaining casino winnings. Chef Jr. invited his buddy over, and they shredded much shreddage this weekend; I tried it, and sucked like a Dyson, and thought to myself that I probably wouldn't play it much, because I only like to do things I'm good at.

Then, tonight, Chef Jr. called out to me, "Hey, Dad?" (*shy pause*) "Want to play Guitar Hero with me?" I'm not going to turn down a chance to hang with my boy, so I jumped up and grabbed the second guitar.

Whereupon I discovered that it's only guitar I suck at. I LIKE playing bass on GH:WT, and I'm not bad at it for an old geezer. (Yes, I'm still playing on "Easy" mode. Suck my whammy bar.) We worked our way through perhaps a dozen songs tonight. I finally cried uncle at around 11:30, and my big tough teenager gave me a hug and said, "That was a lot of fun, wasn't it?"

Yes, son. Yes it was.

Thank you SO much, the_gneech!

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:57:36 GMT

I never thought there could be a better video accompaniment to this song than the one that ran on Tiny Toon Adventures, but this takes the blue ribbon without even trying.

Chef Troy's Shrimp Creole (Tweaked for Weight Watchers)

tcreole@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 20:58:44 GMT

I was surprised how Weight-Watchers-friendly this recipe of mine already was... the only thing I had to change was to substitute cooking spray for the butter/oil mixture I used to use to sauté the veggies in. Almost everything in it is zero points - the only exceptions are the rice (4 points per cup) and the shrimp (2 points for 4 oz.), plus one extra miscellaneous point if you're really being strict with yourself.

Chef Troy's Shrimp Creole
Serves 4 (POINTS value: 6-7 Weight Watcher points per serving, including rice)

1 tablespoon thyme
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper (or more to taste)
½ teaspoon white pepper
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon paprika
½ teaspoon salt
3 bay leaves

3 cups chicken broth (divided use)
2 cups V-8 juice
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Chipotle Tabasco sauce
1 tsp sugar (or 1 packet Splenda)

Cooking spray
3 cups chopped onion
1½ cups chopped celery
1½ cups chopped green bell pepper
4 cups very ripe tomatoes, seeded and chopped

1 lb. shrimp, peeled and deveined

4 cups cooked rice

Combine first seven ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

Combine 2½ cups of chicken broth, V-8, Worcestershire sauce, Chipotle Tabasco, and sugar (or Splenda if using) in a bowl and set aside.

Spray a large pot with cooking spray and sauté onions over medium-high heat until they begin to caramelize, about 5-10 minutes, stirring frequently. Add bell peppers, celery and spice mixture; stir to combine and sauté (adding more cooking spray if necessary) until vegetables begin to soften. Add remaining ½ cup of chicken broth and stir, scraping browned bits off the bottom of the pan, then cover and steam for 2-3 minutes.

Reduce heat to medium-low; add tomatoes and chicken broth/V-8 mixture, stirring to combine. Simmer for at least 30 minutes or until tomatoes cook down. The longer this is allowed to simmer, the better it will be.

Just before serving, increase heat to medium-high and heat sauce until it bubbles. Add the shrimp and stir to distribute them throughout the sauce. Immediately remove the pan from the heat; cover and let it sit for five minutes (the remaining heat in the sauce will cook the shrimp perfectly).

To serve, mound one cup of cook rice in the center of each of four heated plates; divide shrimp Creole among plates and serve hot. If you're not on a diet, add some crusty French bread to mop up the sauce with.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Fri, 29 May 2009 04:53:02 GMT

I've had the pilot episode of "Glee" sitting on the DVR since it aired and just got to it tonight.

It was... NOT what I expected. It's surreal, bizarre, and utterly utterly delightful. Any show that can conceive of recasting Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" as a super-peppy glee-club song has earned a spot in my fall lineup.

Of course, I am terrified that it will prove too quirky for ~~TV viewers~~ advertisers and will die a quick death, but on the other hand, "Dollhouse" got picked up for a second season, so anything's possible.

If you missed it, check this out:

yoinked from biquet

tcreole@hotmail.com — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:53:19 GMT

The opening number of Carmina Burana, "O Fortuna," with helpful English subtitles.

Seeing a pie coming at you doesn't make it more fun when it hits you in the face.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:38:54 GMT

My supervisor just called me in and said that this is going to be my final week at the BSA; in a cost-cutting move that actually makes sense to me, they're getting rid of the costly contract worker *points at self* and splitting his duties among the salaried editors.

I've been expecting it, frankly. Earlier in my tenure here, I always had a job I was working on, three or four more in a stack on my desk awaiting their turn, and a couple more that would be arriving soon. The last couple of months, though, I've often had to scratch for something to do before I completely ran out of work. It was inevitable that someone would wonder why they were paying me so much when they could just load my work onto someone they were already paying anyway.

I was pleased that they didn't try to make it out to be something that was my fault - not that there would be any benefit in doing so for them, since I was a contract worker who's overstayed his original two-month contract by more than a year.

Still, I did enjoy this job, and it sucks that I have to go out in THIS economy and try to find something. Hopefully the staffing agency that placed me here will have something else for me. If not, well, the great thing about being a writer/editor is that you're NEVER unemployed... you just go freelance.

Your moment of grouchiness, courtesy of Cheffie

tcreole@hotmail.com — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:10:53 GMT

I HATE it when an audience starts sloppily clapping along to a song when they're at a concert. Even if they were all laser-perfect, clapping on the one with no stragglers, I'd still hate it, because it's like adding cowbell to "Don't Fear the Reaper" without the humor.

Stop doing that, you fucking sheep. If you want to clap along to music, go camping and sing around the campfire.

Until someone makes me a "wearily clutching my forehead" icon, "angry" will have to do.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:38:57 GMT

Every time my son gets a bad grade on a test or something, he calls me at work from the school counselor's office to tell me.

I am not exactly glancing at the clock every day hoping against hope that today will be the day that I get another one of these calls.

I think he does it because he wants to get it off his chest, because he thinks I'll cool down about it between now and when I pick him up, and because he wants a witness in case I reach through the phone and dope-slap him.

Today's call was a special one. Instead of a bad grade on one test or one piece of homework, he was calling me to tell me that he has a 60 average in biology class for the entire grading period.

That's right, folks, my scary-smart son is flunking a class.

Apparently he tried to call his mother about it first, thinking this might be the call that finally got me to set him on fire with my mind, but she couldn't take the call. When she later called me to find out what was up, I told her, and her reaction was "It's those goddamned video games. They're nothing but a distraction. Well, you know what we're going to do? We're going to pack 'em up. They're going away. We're disconnecting the Wii, we're confiscating the Xbox controllers and his DS, and that's that."

My silent reaction to that idea was "Well SHIT. I'm not flunking biology -- why the hell can't I still play?" But I've been giving it some thought, and the truth is that video games ARE a huge distraction, and there are several other ways I could more profitably be using that time, so I'll go along with it.

My brother's family has a policy of "no electronics during the week." Starting Sunday at dinnertime, nobody -- including the grownups -- plays video games or uses the computers except for work (I'm not sure about the television). The ban lifts right after school every Friday and lasts the weekend. Apparently it works well; I may suggest to Mrs. Chef that we do the same, rather than instituting an outright ban.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:46:25 GMT

Okay, if you're a reasonably trim man whose brother is a FAT man, you might want to think twice before sending your brother a link to a Web site called "This Is Why You're Fat" without explaining what it is.

I mean, the site is funny and all, and he later clarified that no message was intended, but that was a jolt.

Also, our satellite box has been locking up, so they sent us a new one. Which is great and everything, but damn it, I had a BUNCH of stuff on the DVR that I hadn't watched yet, including:

ALL of this season's episodes of "Heroes"

ALL of this season's episodes of "Chuck" after the first three

The last five or six episodes of "House" before they moved it opposite "Chuck" (about that move, by the way - DAMN IT!)

The second and third episodes of "Trust Me"

This week's episode of "No Reservations"

All the episodes so far of "Dollhouse"

And probably more that I'm forgetting.

I think this is the excuse I've been looking for to drop "Heroes" from my viewing schedule. Still, when I set up the new timers, I'm going to have to decide whether "Chuck" or "House" makes the cut, and damn it, nobody should have to make a Sophie's choice like that.

Oy, I'm going to have to set up all the timers again. DAMN IT!

What the hell do you MEAN, "So What"?

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:21:30 GMT

Fifty years ago today, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Cannonball Adderly, Bill Evans, Paul Chambers, Jimmy Cobb, and Paul Chambers recorded the first three tracks of what would become arguably the best jazz album ever recorded before or since: Kind of Blue.

I've bought several copies of Kind of Blue over the years, because every so often I'll encounter someone who hasn't ever heard it, and I'll hand them my copy and say, "Keep it - I'll get another one."

In honor of this watershed moment in jazz, enjoy Davis et al.'s rendition of "So What" on me.

Typo, or window into Cheffie's SOUL? Yeah, it's a typo.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:23:30 GMT

I'm typing up a list of people for my company's web site. The list includes not only their names, but also their city and state of residence. For some reason, a large number of them are from New Jersey.

I can NOT stop my fingers from typing "Jew Jersey" EVERY. GODDAMNED. TIME.

tcreole@hotmail.com — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:32:47 GMT

I just checked my e-mail and saw the following two sequential spam subject lines:
100 beef and bovine recipes

Trial Colon Cleanse Sample
How did they know about my upcoming "Moo and Poo" theme party?